When great things happen differently from our expectations

I used to believe that the best things in life would come with fireworks, clarity, and perfect timing. That when a long-awaited dream, breakthrough, or blessing arrived, it would be obvious—wrapped in gold, dressed in certainty, and delivered at a moment when everything in my life was aligned.

But life has a way of rewriting our expectations.

Some of the best things that have ever happened to me came at the worst possible time. They showed up in moments of exhaustion, loss, or complete chaos—so unrecognizable that I almost missed them. And honestly? At first, I struggled to receive them.

I’ve wondered why we do this—why we hesitate, resist, or even reject the very things we’ve been waiting for when they arrive in unexpected packaging. After much reflection (and a lot of painful growth), I’ve realized it comes down to a few things:

Cognitive Dissonance: The War Between Expectation and Reality

We have this deep, ingrained belief that good things should feel good when they arrive. But when joy collides with suffering, our brains struggle to process it. It feels unnatural, like something must be wrong. How can something be both an answered prayer and a heavy burden at the same time?

I remember a moment when I got an incredible opportunity—but it came right in the middle of one of the hardest seasons of my life. Instead of celebrating, I hesitated. It didn’t feel like a blessing; it felt like a test. I almost convinced myself it wasn’t meant for me because it wasn’t wrapped in ease.

Control and Expectations: The Need for Things to Look "Right"

We all have an idea of what our breakthrough should look like. We script our lives in our heads, picturing the perfect scenario. But when it doesn’t match our vision, we resist it.

It reminds me of how the people of Israel waited centuries for the Messiah, yet when He finally came, they rejected Him because He didn’t look the way they expected. They wanted a conquering king, not a baby in a manger. They wanted a throne, not a cross. And because He arrived differently than they imagined, many missed the miracle right in front of them.

How often do we do the same? How often do we dismiss something life-changing just because it’s not packaged the way we envisioned?

Fear of Loss: When Good Things Feel Too Fragile

When something good arrives in the middle of a storm, part of us wonders if it will be taken away just as quickly. Instead of embracing it, we brace ourselves for disappointment.

I’ve done this too many times to count—holding my breath when something good happens, convinced that it’s “too good to be true.” But living in fear of losing a blessing only keeps us from fully experiencing it.

Unworthiness: Do I Even Deserve This?

There’s also the quiet, insidious voice that whispers, Why you? When life has been hard for so long, when we’ve grown accustomed to struggle, we start to believe we don’t deserve ease, joy, or love.

But blessings aren’t earned. Grace doesn’t come with conditions. Sometimes, the good things in our lives are meant to break the cycle of suffering, not because we’ve "worked hard enough" but simply because they were always meant to find us.

Attachment to the Struggle: When Hardship Feels Like Home

When you’ve been in survival mode for a long time, your brain gets wired to expect struggle. So even when relief comes, it feels foreign. There’s a part of us that almost trusts the struggle more than the blessing, because at least the struggle is familiar.

I once heard someone say, Sometimes we hold onto our wounds because we don’t know who we are without them. That hit me hard. Have I been so attached to my pain that I don’t know how to exist without it? Have I resisted healing because I don’t know who I’ll be on the other side?

The Hidden Purpose in Pain

Maybe, just maybe, the best things come in the worst moments because that’s when we need them the most. Maybe struggle isn’t a sign that we’re off course, but a sign that transformation is happening.

Think about how diamonds are formed—under pressure. How gold is refined—through fire. What if the very things we’ve been praying for are showing up in our hardest seasons because those are the moments we’re being shaped to receive them?

What if the timing we call “bad” is actually perfect?

Learning to See the Blessing in Disguise

I don’t want to miss what’s meant for me just because it doesn’t look how I expected. I don’t want to reject something beautiful just because it arrived in the middle of my mess.

So I’m learning to let go of my rigid expectations. I’m learning to trust that just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not a blessing. That just because something is uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not exactly what I need.

I’m learning that sometimes, the best things in life show up when we least expect them, in the most unexpected ways. And the real challenge? It’s not just about waiting for them—it’s about recognizing them when they arrive.